Love Requited

Jordie Guasch

Pd. 4

9.24.10

Essay Topic:
USC’s speaker series "What Matters to Me and Why" asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered, and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.

A Love Requited

love
noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
–noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person or thing.

             The summer skies haven’t shone on my face and the winter chill hasn’t shaken my bones enough for me to know what it’s like to love another person. I know nothing of love and affection on a romantic level for a human being. But in time I’m sure I’ll find that person who can feel for me in such a way that in a moment beyond today, we will both instantly know that we are doing the right thing. Until then, the only love that I’m sure of is my art. My creations on paper, the breath of life, the spring in my step, the gentle kiss of inspiration in my mind.

             I am not a writer, but I’m sure I fooled you with that beginning paragraph. I am a painter, a drawer, a computer techie, a dreamer, and a realist with a vision of color and movement. I usually draw with black or blue ballpoint pen on regular printer paper, filling the white space with sketches. When I find one I like, I take my low quality camera and take a picture of it. I upload it to my computer and tweak around the photo with Photoshop. The low quality of my camera makes the photo look rougher and grungier.

             However, when I start slapping on layers of color, it gives a smoother, more refined look with scratchy undertones. I feel that this kind of describes myself in a way; most people see the bright colors in my art, but there is so much more complexity and thought beneath the dazzling overtones. And the love that goes into making an image… No one realizes it, but artists have to love what they’ve done before they have the courage to put it out for everyone to see.

             Painting with watercolors is another pastime that I thoroughly enjoy. The way the water blends the pigments, the way color flows onto the page, and with a flick of my wrist, how I control the amount of water is empowering. When I was six years old, I picked up a Crayola watercolor kit. I didn’t understand how to control the water amount, so everything came out blurred and indistinguishable. I vowed to never pick up a watercolor pallet again.

             I entered 8th grade, and one of my neighbors was moving away. She knew that I liked to draw and paint, so she gave me a few brushes, a set of gently used watercolor tubes, and a few pages of blank watercolor paper. I was older now; I understood that controlling the amount of liquid was key to a cleaner looking image. I came up with an idea, put the brush to the paper, and never looked back.

             I am so passionate about my art that I once went into drawing withdrawals when I went on a trip and forgot to bring paper and pens. Needless to say: I resorted to drawing on the paper that holds sticks of gum together with a wooden pencil that threatened to break at any moment. I can’t even begin to describe how happy I was when we finally got to a department store so I could pick up suitable drawing materials. It was crazy; I can’t believe I was so desperate to draw something that I resorted to gum wrappers. Maybe I should’ve started this paper out with the definition of ‘addiction’. I hadn’t realized what it was like to not have the utilities to draw until that vacation. It took a toll on me, and now everywhere I go, I always remember to bring supplies for me to draw.

             Art has been my safety blanket for longer than I can remember. Whenever I’m bored, I draw, when I’m upset or depressed, I draw, and when I’m happy, I draw. My creativity becoming a real, tangible thing has done so much for me because I see things differently than my peers. I take the world in from a different perspective-- colors, shapes, and moods... Art is my driving force; it’s who I am and who I will always be. To be more specific, it pushes me to try harder because I know that Art schools are extremely competitive. It just makes me want to strive harder so I can reach the top and show the world what I’m made of. I love my art, and there is nothing short of lack of art supplies that will stop me from progressing, learning, and bettering myself.